Today I am having a rant about fuel prices and the actual effect they are having, and my small opinion on this whole issue. It may be "soapbox politics", and for that I am sorry however Time to Rant...........
I have received a number of "chain" emails over the last few weeks asking me to take various actions against the big fuel companies such as Shell, Esso and Conoco. The large oil companies keep reporting large profits on the one hand and then blamng the government on ridulously high UK fuel prices.
I have been looking into some facts to see whether the oil companies are really to blame or if there are other factors involved.
Last year (2007) the following was the case for duty the goverment collected -
50.35 pence per litre for ultra-low sulphur unleaded petrol/diesel
53.65 pence per litre for conventional unleaded petrol
56.94 pence per litre for conventional diesel
30.35 pence per litre for bio-diesel and bio ethanol - low tax to encourage consumer conversion
16.49 pence per kg for gas other than natural gas (LPG)
13.70 pence per kg for natural gas used as road fuel.
9.69 pence per litre for rebated gas oil (red diesel)
9.29 pence per litre for rebated fuel oil
If petrol cost (just!!) 90p a litre the following split would happen -
47.1p Duty
23.2p for the product
13.4p VAT
6.3p Retailer, including delivery
Now it is not taking a genius to see how this is working. As an average person in business 6.3p for every 90p is not a lot, especially after delivery is taken out of this. By the time an operating profit is taken out if the retailer makes a 2p per litre it will show excellent management. If a site is selling 1000 litres of fuel per day it will only show a petrol profit of £20 on the fuel. Now this is somewhat worrying. £20 will not cover a decent Chinese takeaway for 4!!!!
So how does a fuel stop make money? Obviously not on fuel, maybe on food, drink, magazines and the whole host of additional products now available.
As we can see the oil company is not actually making very much money in the UK from fuel and oil sales. In which case how is boycoting the petrol of a supplier like Shell actually going to help? All this is actually going to do is put even less money into the site and therefore into the staff wages.
It would appear very obvious that the problem lies elsewhere.........
So I say this - it is my opinion, and only an opinion, that actually the government is doing rather nicely out of us the motorist once more. The October price rises for duty put an additional £2.5 Million per day into the government coffers. I am pleased to know that my money is helping this. I ask where is it all going? Am I to believe the country is going into recession again, and that no money exists? Is my money actually being used to fund a war, in a foreign land, that I am not sure I actually believe in. Let's not be flippant over this but remember that some rounds of ammunition cost £60 thousand each, and soldiers will fire off a lot more than one!!!
When my red light is on and I need petrol, and am on the motorway, will I (or anyone else) actually look for a brand I am not boycoting, will I really care? No doubt we will all moan over the cost, but at the same time we will mop our brows because we have fuel now.
As I see it the only way to actually have things change is for a large oil company like ESSO to say "enough is enough. The tax on fuel is silly and we are only earning pennies per litre. We are cutting the price down, now"
And the government loses a lot, so we get taxed elsewhere!! but at least business can now afford to operate in order to try and make money and not just lose out.
If fuel prices fell to say, 79p a litre,who would really get hurt? I do a lot of miles and fill up at least once a week with diesel. It costs me (now) £75+ and I am getting 42+MPG out of my car. I do about 800 miles a week, so I must pay. I know people that do less miles in a month than I do in a week. So they only fill up once a month.
I pay duty on fuel weekly, that is my penalty for doing high business miles. My wife only pays duty on her fuel when she fills up monthly. So what is wrong with this, I say nothing, we all pay for the fuel we use. I use a lot so pay a lot, she uses less so pays less. This is my penalty!!
I appreciate my mileage is nearly all business and potentially a break would help my business, but fairs fair. I have to pay for the actual use I make, as we all should. So where is the problem here?
I suggest that there is no issue with these thoughts. I maintain that the actual problem lies fully at the door of the government. I say don't boycot a certain oil company, they are not really to blame. Ask the government to be realistic and change fuel duty NOW.
As a body of people, forgetting any political persuasion, the drivers of the UK represent a huge number of people. What is needed is a public voice - like a consumer champion such as Which Magazine or Top Gear - to stand up with us all behind them and to try and make a change.
Maybe any comments made on this Blog might help, leave them and see............
Saturday 26 January 2008
Thursday 24 January 2008
If we had an Hour left.........
I was reading an article last night on the Kristine and Richard Carlson's website. On the 13th December 2006 Richard very unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. In the words of a well known rock sock "only the good die young, the evil seem to live forever"how true does this seem.
In his life Richard and Kris inspired many people and their books in the"Don't Sweat" series have been an huge help to many, including myself and a great friend, who I started school with, who introduced me to them.
One of the things he asked was what would we do and who would we call, write to or speak to if we only had an hour left to live.
And this started me thinking, and looking on the net at related articles. I came across a great poem written and left where the twin towers fell that asked if the people who perished had known would they have done things differently or with more passion.
I am away from home as I write, I have been away all week (today is Thursday) and I won't get home to my family until tomorrow evening. Although I phone home lots, and talk to my wife and children it is not the same as being there. I may shout and get angry when I am at home but this is just frustration over events. I still class my family as most important and "going home" the closest thing we all have to roots.
Now I know that a few weeks ago my eldest son (10) asked if I was going as I was in a suit, I said yes - see you later. He again asked if I was going and I again reiterated I had a meeting and would be home soon. He asked if I was really coming home. I was touched and said of course. He showed saddness, apparently if I could have moved out then he could have a dog!!! So much for being touched, I can be replaced!!!!
What this actually made me realise is how much I need to return home to be with my wife and children. I may be away a lot, my office may be 200 miles from home, but I stilll view my family as very important. I go and see all 3 boys asleep at night and tuck them in. I kiss them goodnight and talk to them - they can't answer back Hurrah - sometimes I just stand a watch them asleep. I always say goodnight to my wife and somewhere along the lines, when at home, I touch her hand with mine, or foot with mine. I guess I just check she is there.
Last night I asked what would I do if I had an hour left, I think I would do the following........
An hour, it is not long enough to make a fruit cake or rock cakes so I had better forget these actions.
I would write to all my friends and thank them for all they have done over the past. Their support and help. Their understanding and their patience. I guess I would ask for them to look after my family for me and to remember me with a smile and not a tear.
I would then gather all of my family together. An hour is not long enough for a heartfelt outpouring of emotion. All I could do is hug them tight and tell them how much I love them. I would tell my boys all I could and ask them not to forget their worn out Dad. Maybe if my 10 year old gets a dog, name it after me!!
I would hold my wife and tell her all I haven't over the years (20 of them!!) and ask for her forgiveness for all of the stupid moves I have made over the years that she has supported regardless of what she really felt. Most of all, and last night I really realised this, I would cuddle her tight. Feel her whole body against mine and tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me and has meant to me. I guess I have never really done this.
It is a stretched out hour this, for I would also put in writing anything I could to my Children to help them on the way and I would put in writing any feelings I could to my Wife so she could have a lasting memory of me.
And finally, I would try and put down a short "mission statement" for the world to see that hopefully makes people think a little, remember a little, and try to give something back a little.
What would you do??
In his life Richard and Kris inspired many people and their books in the"Don't Sweat" series have been an huge help to many, including myself and a great friend, who I started school with, who introduced me to them.
One of the things he asked was what would we do and who would we call, write to or speak to if we only had an hour left to live.
And this started me thinking, and looking on the net at related articles. I came across a great poem written and left where the twin towers fell that asked if the people who perished had known would they have done things differently or with more passion.
I am away from home as I write, I have been away all week (today is Thursday) and I won't get home to my family until tomorrow evening. Although I phone home lots, and talk to my wife and children it is not the same as being there. I may shout and get angry when I am at home but this is just frustration over events. I still class my family as most important and "going home" the closest thing we all have to roots.
Now I know that a few weeks ago my eldest son (10) asked if I was going as I was in a suit, I said yes - see you later. He again asked if I was going and I again reiterated I had a meeting and would be home soon. He asked if I was really coming home. I was touched and said of course. He showed saddness, apparently if I could have moved out then he could have a dog!!! So much for being touched, I can be replaced!!!!
What this actually made me realise is how much I need to return home to be with my wife and children. I may be away a lot, my office may be 200 miles from home, but I stilll view my family as very important. I go and see all 3 boys asleep at night and tuck them in. I kiss them goodnight and talk to them - they can't answer back Hurrah - sometimes I just stand a watch them asleep. I always say goodnight to my wife and somewhere along the lines, when at home, I touch her hand with mine, or foot with mine. I guess I just check she is there.
Last night I asked what would I do if I had an hour left, I think I would do the following........
An hour, it is not long enough to make a fruit cake or rock cakes so I had better forget these actions.
I would write to all my friends and thank them for all they have done over the past. Their support and help. Their understanding and their patience. I guess I would ask for them to look after my family for me and to remember me with a smile and not a tear.
I would then gather all of my family together. An hour is not long enough for a heartfelt outpouring of emotion. All I could do is hug them tight and tell them how much I love them. I would tell my boys all I could and ask them not to forget their worn out Dad. Maybe if my 10 year old gets a dog, name it after me!!
I would hold my wife and tell her all I haven't over the years (20 of them!!) and ask for her forgiveness for all of the stupid moves I have made over the years that she has supported regardless of what she really felt. Most of all, and last night I really realised this, I would cuddle her tight. Feel her whole body against mine and tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me and has meant to me. I guess I have never really done this.
It is a stretched out hour this, for I would also put in writing anything I could to my Children to help them on the way and I would put in writing any feelings I could to my Wife so she could have a lasting memory of me.
And finally, I would try and put down a short "mission statement" for the world to see that hopefully makes people think a little, remember a little, and try to give something back a little.
What would you do??
Tuesday 22 January 2008
A worrying situation - The rant today......
I got sent an analgy to look at today as the sender thought I might be interested to see it and they were interested in turn to hear my opinion.
Now I am anything but a "goody two shoes" type of person. BUT I do not believe in racism, i do not care if a person is white, black, yellow or green!! I like people unreservedly, irrespective of background, race or colour. If a person and I do not "hit it off" and we do dislike each other I would hate to think this was anything other than a personality clash and certainly not race driven.
Here is the analagy as it was sent to me -
Haven't heard it put this way before, but it's a great analogy. I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ..... Quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see..... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than the Union Jack are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!
Now, when i got this i read it quickly and thought it was a bit controversial!! I have now read it properly........
I am appalled that these type of thoughts are being sent around the internet using e-mail channels to "spread the word".
The analgy is very good. It uses birds to illustrate what is considered by its author a serious issue. We all can relate to birds and most of us have bird feeders scattered around our gardens or outside our flats. So we all can understand the analagy!!
However, when the subject is properly read it is one of the most inflamatory pieces of literature ever written. It is openly suggesting that UK immigration is the cause of all ills and that removal, of the immigrant population will solve all problems. It has to be assumed that this originated within a very racist organisation, or possibly a political party that is apparently growing in strength.
I am a white, british citizen from birth. I am not an ethnic minority or similar. I am blessed with lots of great friends - of all colours and races. I frequently visit Muslim countries such as Turkey and during my late teenage years I was in the Middle East for an extended period. I spend regular time in Northern Cyprus and have a large number of friends there both locals and ex-pat. Does this make me an expert? No. Does it mean I possibly see things from a varied perspective? Maybe.
In my opinion, and small experience, there is good and bad in all races. Does this make "immigrants" potentially all bad and set on taking over this country?
I would absolutely and without reservation say a rousounding NO, this thinking is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. In all races a small number of misguided people will undoubtedly cause these issue to be magnified.
The UK right now is far from perfect, BUT, how can it be correct (or right) to blame all the problems upon immigration. Without a doubt a small number of the immigrants that come to the UK are what we would call "radicals", hell-bent on recruiting more fundamentalists and creating havoc through terrorist actions and derogitory statements. However most people coming to the UK are just scared people, who like all of us are trying hard to provide for their families. They will have children to support and partners and parents who need help. All I see is a number of people who are trying hard, often for very low wages, to provide the best they can for their loved ones.
Surely this is all anyone wants, we look at countries such as Australia as the answer to our problems, we can't say if the grass is greener there, in the same way that people coming to the UK are looking for the country to provide them with a better way of life and future. Is there a difference? The only difference is see is the expectation.
The low wages we pay to immigrants they grab gratefully with both hands as a better option to their own countries. We emmigrate to offer a better future to our families, the change is that in the western world we live in we expect to go elsewhere and be even better off. The expectation is different, but the need is exactly the same.
Does this mean that in countries such as Australia we are looked upon as interlopers. Taking jobs from the incumbent peoples and causing trouble? I cannot answer this, but it is a worrying thought.
And so to the analagy, this was written and spread by a callous person(s). It without a doubt will stir up emotions. Some will agree with it and spread it more. As hatred grew in the 1930's in Germany it is again growing.
In the 1930's the but of issues were the Jew, now it is the Muslim and the immigrant. I see people from Poland, Afghanistan, Russia working as hard and often harder than the UK people. The immigrant stays grateful for anything, the British people often "just expect". Maybe, just maybe, people will sit up and think. This influx is not bad, this influx is not a threat. The influx has just highlighted the real issues, The "british people" feel they are too good to provide menial labour. Immigrants don't, they work long and hard to provide and they do not care how, they do not think anything is "too low" to be done.
I say the real problem is the author of the analgy. This analagy is inflamatory and disgusting. I suggest its writer is also disgusting. If their aim was to stir up emotion then it has worked. If its aim is to gain support for the thoughts, and scarily, maybe.
It is the job of everyone who is rational to now spread the good side of the coin, and to do all we can to stop these thoughts NOW. Please comment on this "rant" and let me know your feelings, maybe i am wrong!!!
Now I am anything but a "goody two shoes" type of person. BUT I do not believe in racism, i do not care if a person is white, black, yellow or green!! I like people unreservedly, irrespective of background, race or colour. If a person and I do not "hit it off" and we do dislike each other I would hate to think this was anything other than a personality clash and certainly not race driven.
Here is the analagy as it was sent to me -
Haven't heard it put this way before, but it's a great analogy. I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ..... Quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see..... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than the Union Jack are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!
Now, when i got this i read it quickly and thought it was a bit controversial!! I have now read it properly........
I am appalled that these type of thoughts are being sent around the internet using e-mail channels to "spread the word".
The analgy is very good. It uses birds to illustrate what is considered by its author a serious issue. We all can relate to birds and most of us have bird feeders scattered around our gardens or outside our flats. So we all can understand the analagy!!
However, when the subject is properly read it is one of the most inflamatory pieces of literature ever written. It is openly suggesting that UK immigration is the cause of all ills and that removal, of the immigrant population will solve all problems. It has to be assumed that this originated within a very racist organisation, or possibly a political party that is apparently growing in strength.
I am a white, british citizen from birth. I am not an ethnic minority or similar. I am blessed with lots of great friends - of all colours and races. I frequently visit Muslim countries such as Turkey and during my late teenage years I was in the Middle East for an extended period. I spend regular time in Northern Cyprus and have a large number of friends there both locals and ex-pat. Does this make me an expert? No. Does it mean I possibly see things from a varied perspective? Maybe.
In my opinion, and small experience, there is good and bad in all races. Does this make "immigrants" potentially all bad and set on taking over this country?
I would absolutely and without reservation say a rousounding NO, this thinking is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. In all races a small number of misguided people will undoubtedly cause these issue to be magnified.
The UK right now is far from perfect, BUT, how can it be correct (or right) to blame all the problems upon immigration. Without a doubt a small number of the immigrants that come to the UK are what we would call "radicals", hell-bent on recruiting more fundamentalists and creating havoc through terrorist actions and derogitory statements. However most people coming to the UK are just scared people, who like all of us are trying hard to provide for their families. They will have children to support and partners and parents who need help. All I see is a number of people who are trying hard, often for very low wages, to provide the best they can for their loved ones.
Surely this is all anyone wants, we look at countries such as Australia as the answer to our problems, we can't say if the grass is greener there, in the same way that people coming to the UK are looking for the country to provide them with a better way of life and future. Is there a difference? The only difference is see is the expectation.
The low wages we pay to immigrants they grab gratefully with both hands as a better option to their own countries. We emmigrate to offer a better future to our families, the change is that in the western world we live in we expect to go elsewhere and be even better off. The expectation is different, but the need is exactly the same.
Does this mean that in countries such as Australia we are looked upon as interlopers. Taking jobs from the incumbent peoples and causing trouble? I cannot answer this, but it is a worrying thought.
And so to the analagy, this was written and spread by a callous person(s). It without a doubt will stir up emotions. Some will agree with it and spread it more. As hatred grew in the 1930's in Germany it is again growing.
In the 1930's the but of issues were the Jew, now it is the Muslim and the immigrant. I see people from Poland, Afghanistan, Russia working as hard and often harder than the UK people. The immigrant stays grateful for anything, the British people often "just expect". Maybe, just maybe, people will sit up and think. This influx is not bad, this influx is not a threat. The influx has just highlighted the real issues, The "british people" feel they are too good to provide menial labour. Immigrants don't, they work long and hard to provide and they do not care how, they do not think anything is "too low" to be done.
I say the real problem is the author of the analgy. This analagy is inflamatory and disgusting. I suggest its writer is also disgusting. If their aim was to stir up emotion then it has worked. If its aim is to gain support for the thoughts, and scarily, maybe.
It is the job of everyone who is rational to now spread the good side of the coin, and to do all we can to stop these thoughts NOW. Please comment on this "rant" and let me know your feelings, maybe i am wrong!!!
Saturday 19 January 2008
Comedy - Just a thought.......
Last night a small group of us went to the Comedy Club in Central London. Can I start by thanking firstly a great friend for arranging this, secondly the Police Cadets and Police People we were with who were there early enough to secure the tickets and fabulous seats, and thirdly the acts that were on last night and the compare who were just brilliant, if a little "drunk" towards the end of the evening!!
But, and here comes the thought for today(!!), what is comedy really and what do we actually look for to make us laugh?
Let's look at the basics, what is actually comedy........
A man goes into a bar.... Is this funny, probably not
The same man walks into the same bar, Ouch... Now this has an air of comedy about it, predictable and juvenille, but comedy none the less. We are laughing at the misfortune and someones potential mishap.
The same man walks into a bar, with a crocodile up his posteria, Ouch and the crocodile falls out....We laugh more both at the misfortune and at the thought of a crocodile and the hidden question of "why is it there?"
So what is comedy, and how does it work? Without a doubt comedy based upon true life experience causes us all to laugh out loud. The comedians yesterday who relayed stories rather than 1 line "gags" were funnier. The 1 liners were funny, but the true comedy highlighted situations we have all been in and can relate to.
So, does this really highlight true comedy to an adult audience. I split up adults from children, as Children have a different sense of humour, and lots seems to revolve around "willys, bums and farts!!!"
Let's think of a situation - the car won't start - is this alone funny? probably not, we have all had this happen and we all have cursed. Has the car not started because of a potato in the exhaust? Again, the scenario can be made funny but it is not likely to have happened.
However the car won't start for a very mundane reason, it needs fuel perhaps, or (and more likely) it has diesel in and it is unleaded!!! Now, on face value this is a disaster but is it?
Is it not actually a lead into a comedy situation? We have experienced the annoyance of this, we have tried to solve the situation. But, put into the context of a comedy situation it suddenly becomes very funny. A car that doesn't run, NOT FUNNY!! Until we add in the why and the stupidity of something very mundane causing all these problems. We laugh because we have all experienced it. We laugh more and louder because we hope and assume that the misfortune is happening to someone else. This is purely the pleasure / pain scenario. Someone elses pain is pleasure for us.
We all laugh out loud at misfortune when someone else is experiencing it. We all laugh out loud when Billy Connolly swears and talks of how he got drunk in a bar with the local nutter. Every one of us laughs out loud as we can relate to this and in most cases can back up the story with a similar version of the same story that has definately happened to us. The similarity shows the comedian is a real person and poetic licence lets us expand "slightly" on what has happened so we can impress and be likened to the, now very popular, comedian.
Let me use last night as an example, the on-stage stand up talked off an Australian heckler, most people at the show nodded agreement as we would all swear we agreed that Aussies are uncouth. The comedian explained the heckler was suggesting the British were sad as we lost the ashes and gave the score. Whether we understood cricket or not, we all disliked the heckler instantly, more laughs to encourage the comedian more. The comedian then explained his very witty answer and its very bad timing. This misfortune caused a huge audience laugh, everyone hoped the next line told of the stand-ups fate. When it did the laughter was more and even greater. We all had a similar story to tell, and we all roared with laughter at some one elses problem. It is the Pleasure / Pain scenario all over again..........
Now what this actually tells is a deeper story, it is the one of does laughter help??
I say YES!! I openly admit to having had a torrid couple of years for various reasons. I know of friends who have also had a rough time, I know there are some of us still trying to get on an even keel. And I know that in the global scale of things our small issues are nothings, but to us they are huge, but there are also lots of other problems in the world. These are happening to individuals like me or whole nations, races or even the world.
What has universely helped - me, my friends, other people, nations races or the whole world?
I say the ability to laugh, that one small act of smiling and laughing shows that even when everything is looking dire, and solutions are not being found to problems. When all is looking black. Something, somewhere will raise a small smile and a tiny bit of laughter from us, this tiny act, this seemingly insignificant action makes a huge difference and just for a snapshot of time the despair can lift. It is these small periods of time that just about keep us going.
Laughter can come from the strangest sources, here is an example to leave the thought on.........
A few years ago I lost my Grandfather. At the time my now 10 year old was only about 2. The coffin was in the church, people were crying, my (now also dead!!) father was giving a very moving tribute to his now departed father. In the middle of all of this despair, at a time when emotions were fraut, my son wondered into the middle of the Church where the coffin was and had a good look, he asked a few strange questions about was "Grandad" in the "strange box" he looked all around it, and under it and then pointed at the coffin and stated it was very nice but he prefered yellow as a colour. For a short time the mood lifted, everyone laughed out loud, and the break in despair allowed my Father to finish what was a difficult speech.
The breaking of the despair we felt and the relief of laughter gave every person at the funeral a happier moment. The pause in proceedings gave us all a chance to compose ourselves to see the event through to the end. It is this ability of laughter that makes it special, and it is this lightening that allows us to carry on. For this reason I salute laughter and the bringers of laughter.
I hail these situations as moments to be captured and held and I ask for more.
But, and here comes the thought for today(!!), what is comedy really and what do we actually look for to make us laugh?
Let's look at the basics, what is actually comedy........
A man goes into a bar.... Is this funny, probably not
The same man walks into the same bar, Ouch... Now this has an air of comedy about it, predictable and juvenille, but comedy none the less. We are laughing at the misfortune and someones potential mishap.
The same man walks into a bar, with a crocodile up his posteria, Ouch and the crocodile falls out....We laugh more both at the misfortune and at the thought of a crocodile and the hidden question of "why is it there?"
So what is comedy, and how does it work? Without a doubt comedy based upon true life experience causes us all to laugh out loud. The comedians yesterday who relayed stories rather than 1 line "gags" were funnier. The 1 liners were funny, but the true comedy highlighted situations we have all been in and can relate to.
So, does this really highlight true comedy to an adult audience. I split up adults from children, as Children have a different sense of humour, and lots seems to revolve around "willys, bums and farts!!!"
Let's think of a situation - the car won't start - is this alone funny? probably not, we have all had this happen and we all have cursed. Has the car not started because of a potato in the exhaust? Again, the scenario can be made funny but it is not likely to have happened.
However the car won't start for a very mundane reason, it needs fuel perhaps, or (and more likely) it has diesel in and it is unleaded!!! Now, on face value this is a disaster but is it?
Is it not actually a lead into a comedy situation? We have experienced the annoyance of this, we have tried to solve the situation. But, put into the context of a comedy situation it suddenly becomes very funny. A car that doesn't run, NOT FUNNY!! Until we add in the why and the stupidity of something very mundane causing all these problems. We laugh because we have all experienced it. We laugh more and louder because we hope and assume that the misfortune is happening to someone else. This is purely the pleasure / pain scenario. Someone elses pain is pleasure for us.
We all laugh out loud at misfortune when someone else is experiencing it. We all laugh out loud when Billy Connolly swears and talks of how he got drunk in a bar with the local nutter. Every one of us laughs out loud as we can relate to this and in most cases can back up the story with a similar version of the same story that has definately happened to us. The similarity shows the comedian is a real person and poetic licence lets us expand "slightly" on what has happened so we can impress and be likened to the, now very popular, comedian.
Let me use last night as an example, the on-stage stand up talked off an Australian heckler, most people at the show nodded agreement as we would all swear we agreed that Aussies are uncouth. The comedian explained the heckler was suggesting the British were sad as we lost the ashes and gave the score. Whether we understood cricket or not, we all disliked the heckler instantly, more laughs to encourage the comedian more. The comedian then explained his very witty answer and its very bad timing. This misfortune caused a huge audience laugh, everyone hoped the next line told of the stand-ups fate. When it did the laughter was more and even greater. We all had a similar story to tell, and we all roared with laughter at some one elses problem. It is the Pleasure / Pain scenario all over again..........
Now what this actually tells is a deeper story, it is the one of does laughter help??
I say YES!! I openly admit to having had a torrid couple of years for various reasons. I know of friends who have also had a rough time, I know there are some of us still trying to get on an even keel. And I know that in the global scale of things our small issues are nothings, but to us they are huge, but there are also lots of other problems in the world. These are happening to individuals like me or whole nations, races or even the world.
What has universely helped - me, my friends, other people, nations races or the whole world?
I say the ability to laugh, that one small act of smiling and laughing shows that even when everything is looking dire, and solutions are not being found to problems. When all is looking black. Something, somewhere will raise a small smile and a tiny bit of laughter from us, this tiny act, this seemingly insignificant action makes a huge difference and just for a snapshot of time the despair can lift. It is these small periods of time that just about keep us going.
Laughter can come from the strangest sources, here is an example to leave the thought on.........
A few years ago I lost my Grandfather. At the time my now 10 year old was only about 2. The coffin was in the church, people were crying, my (now also dead!!) father was giving a very moving tribute to his now departed father. In the middle of all of this despair, at a time when emotions were fraut, my son wondered into the middle of the Church where the coffin was and had a good look, he asked a few strange questions about was "Grandad" in the "strange box" he looked all around it, and under it and then pointed at the coffin and stated it was very nice but he prefered yellow as a colour. For a short time the mood lifted, everyone laughed out loud, and the break in despair allowed my Father to finish what was a difficult speech.
The breaking of the despair we felt and the relief of laughter gave every person at the funeral a happier moment. The pause in proceedings gave us all a chance to compose ourselves to see the event through to the end. It is this ability of laughter that makes it special, and it is this lightening that allows us to carry on. For this reason I salute laughter and the bringers of laughter.
I hail these situations as moments to be captured and held and I ask for more.
Wednesday 16 January 2008
Execution - Humane or Not??
I watched Michael Portillo last night exploring all apsects of execution. In the USA all executions are currently on-hold as execution may be too painful and thus impinge on the human rights of the condemmed person. It was Portillos brief to try and find a more humane method of execution that was "painless" to the prisoner and led to a swift death.
The thing is, should human rights be involved in execution. By the act of murder, and assuming that the conviction is solid, has the prisoner not waived any human rights that may have been held? Did the murderer ask his (or her) victim if their imminent death was causing them distress and thus not within the human rights brief? Was the victims death swift and painless or was it actually a long drawn out affair?
So what is the real question being asked, I believe it is more one as to whether the death penalty is viable in a modern world?
What is the death penalty in reality, it is a means of ending the life of an aggrivator as retribution for an action they have performed. Is this termination actually a very old method of sentencing that goes back to biblical times. Surely the act of applying the death penalty is the same as the old addage of "an eye for an eye".
Does this method of punishment provide an element of satisfaction or retribution for the family of a victim though. Whilst the death penalty is potentially a less expensive method of justice than incarseration, does it satisfy the suffering of the victim or their family.
Let's be honest, and bring things down to an analagy that is understandable -
A child is murdered (God forbid mine or anyone elses) the criminal has openly admitted the crime and a cast iron conviction has been the result of the prosecution. The sentence is still left open to be decided, what would I choose, if it was my call -
The thing is, should human rights be involved in execution. By the act of murder, and assuming that the conviction is solid, has the prisoner not waived any human rights that may have been held? Did the murderer ask his (or her) victim if their imminent death was causing them distress and thus not within the human rights brief? Was the victims death swift and painless or was it actually a long drawn out affair?
So what is the real question being asked, I believe it is more one as to whether the death penalty is viable in a modern world?
What is the death penalty in reality, it is a means of ending the life of an aggrivator as retribution for an action they have performed. Is this termination actually a very old method of sentencing that goes back to biblical times. Surely the act of applying the death penalty is the same as the old addage of "an eye for an eye".
Does this method of punishment provide an element of satisfaction or retribution for the family of a victim though. Whilst the death penalty is potentially a less expensive method of justice than incarseration, does it satisfy the suffering of the victim or their family.
Let's be honest, and bring things down to an analagy that is understandable -
A child is murdered (God forbid mine or anyone elses) the criminal has openly admitted the crime and a cast iron conviction has been the result of the prosecution. The sentence is still left open to be decided, what would I choose, if it was my call -
- The criminal is executed, end of story a few months on death row and then a lethal injection. Human rights would argue this method (or any other method) was a painful cruel death, often taking as long as a few minutes to die. After the child had been murdered and probably suffered longer than this would we care? would I actually state that this was too swift a death?
- Imprisonment forever, lock the criminal up and throw away the key. Does this mean the person will suffer whenever the loved one is thought of, everytime the incarserated person looks at the sky and thinks of the free world beyond the prison walls. Or will the criminal just get on with life, make new friends and make the most of the situation safe in prison, fed, watered and making new friends. Will this person over time feel remorse?
- The criminal is subjected to a slow and painful death in the same vein as the family member has. the criminal at least is made to suffer at least for a while and forget the human rights people.
- Give the criminal to the family, and their friends and family, and let us invoke their own form of justice up him. Let's really see the providing of "eye for eye" justice. Look away if you are squeamish and don't like to see suffering because there is a serious amount of upset to get out of the system. Then the friends and family have their anger to vent. Suffering, I would suggest that my feelings of this emotion might be fairly fired up here, as will my friends and families, and we might just provide real suffering and not over just a few minutes!!
Now the question is actually what is the real justice here. Unless we experience anything so vile we can only speculate. I would say as a father "give me the criminal, a swift execution is going to seem the easy way out when I have finished". I know this is irrational and not in the spirit of a modern world and proper justice, but, I can't help that.
Others might suggest the cruelty is actually locking up someone forever and letting them rot.
It might be that a slow, but controlled death is justice, but then what is a slow death and when does this actually become a form of torture not death?
What about a plain and simple execution, convict the criminal, lock them up and then kill them in whatever method is currently vogue. Is this actually a method of suffering. Let's forget the actual execution. Death in any form can actually only be a swift process, one breath alive and then nothing. However the build up to death and therefore execution can be made significantly horrific.
A criminal is convicted, a date for execution is set for 6 months time. How will the criminal react and suffer as this date draws closer. In the last 24 hours will the person dwell upon issues, will they suffer knowing that they are having the last meal, the last sleep, the last toilet trip or last view of sun, moon, rain or snow. Will the criminal care about this or are they hardened to not care. Is this the true difference between a murderer and a normal person. We care and think about things like this and they don't.
Do their familes suffer as we will, knowing their loved one, because regardless that is what they are, will die and they will not see them in this world again. Does saying goodbye hurt, it could be argued that at least they can say goodbye, or anything else, whilst the victims family were not given this chance. Is the potential suffering of the family some sort of consilation, or will the victims family actually feel some sort of sorrow for them as well?
Questions this has raised can probably, and hopefully, never be answered by most people. however I am intrigued by the feelings of others, please comment on your true feelings.
It can be said that regardless of what we feel of Michael Portillo, his documentary has raised a large number of questions, in me at least, I have found the whole experience thought provoking and for that I thank the BBC and Michael Portillo.
I ask all to post on this and maybe we can find an answer to a very old problem........
Monday 14 January 2008
14th January 2008
Well here we are - another Monday, another day another dollar. It has been a very hectic weekend with kids football, my 4 year olds birthday party - thank you Tumble Tots for a fantastic job!! - and then more kids football a match this time, for U10's, and won convincingly, both 6-0 and 4-1. But it was so cold to watch as a spectator. I know that the help and support of friends has made this a good weekend, and without our great friends and neighbours joining us to help and relax both Saturday and Sunday I am sure things would have been harder and definately much less fun.
And now onto today's comment on important and often world issues!! This is the "rant" section.....
The news today has been very focussed upon an organ transplant system overhaul. It would appear that the government wants to make the organ donor decison an "opt-out"system insted of the current "opt-in". Is this potentially creating a situation where people are more worried about their dead bodies than their live ones.
Now, when we die do we need our organs, is there a "next place" where not being intact will lead to an inability to take a place in paradise. Is there an afterlife to be looked forward to that requires a complete body or will, as a TV sitcom suggested many years ago, provide ongoing discomfort as a potential donor enjoys life. Alcohol to aggravate kidneys, running to aggravate the heart, lots of sweet stuff to annoy a pancreas!!
But let's be more serious, how would oppinions differ if the requirement was closer to home. How would it be viewed if no kidneys could be found for your wife. How would it be if a cornea transplant was needed and a donor was not forthcoming.
Sometime over the future 10 years my wife might need new kidneys as hers have a disease now, and what the future holds is still very uncertain. If I need a kidney for my wife I will move heaven and earth to find one and will travel anywhere in the universe to fulfil this. It will be slightly easier if the pool of donors available was increased.
Recently a close friend of ours had a heart and lung transplant as well as a pancreas replacement. Our friend waited on tenderhooks for a transplant. She was lucky, a donor was found just in time. Many, many people are not this fortunate.
There maybe religious reasons why a person cannot be a donor, however, for most of us what difference will it really make. It may help a person that is actually in real need.
The question is one of "what if?" How will we ever know if there is a next life, how will we ever know if our bodies intact are going to be part of the next step. The answer is that we will probably not know until it is too late to react. Are we prepared to take a risk that we could help others and trust either in a God to take pity on us or our next step will not require organs for our rebirth, if there is to be anything like this.
The decision is purely a personal one. Our belief may be a passionate one, and the will to achieve strong. But this decision is ours and ours alone.
Most people actually don't care, carrying a donor card or not is of no consequence to them. Most people simply have never got round to filling a form in, and talking to loved ones about wishes. This is probably an unconcious way of not actually facing up to mortality. Would these people be happier to just have opted-in by default and let the medical people get on with it. The saddest part of this is whilst they dither or just can't be bothered people are dying unnecessarily through a lack of transplant organs.
What is more criminal a government initiative to help provide organs that may be a little like "big brother" or doing nothing and going to the grave intact but knowing that potentially useable organs will just rot or burn.
In life we go through lots, some good and some bad. In some instances we grab at whatever and take as much as possible that is to be taken. Is so wrong to want to give a little back, when we probably won't lament the loss, but can help so much. At the moment a lot of people can't smile as everything seems black. Families are desperate and then distraught as husbands and wives, sons and daughters are lost needlessly. Is it not the greatest gift available if life can be prolonged for these people.
I have 3 children and a wife, i relish in everyday that I see the children grow. I revel in every minute I get to be with my wife. How would I cope if robbed of this? How will I manage if my wife does need a kidney in the future and through lack of support we cannot get one quickly enough. How would my best friend be now if he had lost his wife and was left with a toddler to explain things to, if someone, somewhere was not carrying a card.
Should the government be able to force this decison upon us? That view must remain unanswered and a personal feeling. The bigger question is one of whether it is fair to not help people live through our death, because this decision reveals our mortality and that is what we don't like.
Put aside selfish thoughts, put away feelings of creepiness (that we all have over this!!), forget the "what if" question. It is very simple we all take, take, take, this is a chance to give back a little something. Is the warm feeling that this knowledge brings not enough to actually make the decison a lot easier to make.
Don't sit on thoughts, don't wait until it is too late. A chance exists to feel proud and to do something that through the sorrow of departure will make grieving families and friends proud. The ability to provide, the ability to have that power at our fingertips, and the knowing that this will happen is what we all want and all can do.
I SAY PREPARE NOW TO SAVE LIVES IN THE FUTURE - OPT-IN TODAY REGARDLESS
And now onto today's comment on important and often world issues!! This is the "rant" section.....
The news today has been very focussed upon an organ transplant system overhaul. It would appear that the government wants to make the organ donor decison an "opt-out"system insted of the current "opt-in". Is this potentially creating a situation where people are more worried about their dead bodies than their live ones.
Now, when we die do we need our organs, is there a "next place" where not being intact will lead to an inability to take a place in paradise. Is there an afterlife to be looked forward to that requires a complete body or will, as a TV sitcom suggested many years ago, provide ongoing discomfort as a potential donor enjoys life. Alcohol to aggravate kidneys, running to aggravate the heart, lots of sweet stuff to annoy a pancreas!!
But let's be more serious, how would oppinions differ if the requirement was closer to home. How would it be viewed if no kidneys could be found for your wife. How would it be if a cornea transplant was needed and a donor was not forthcoming.
Sometime over the future 10 years my wife might need new kidneys as hers have a disease now, and what the future holds is still very uncertain. If I need a kidney for my wife I will move heaven and earth to find one and will travel anywhere in the universe to fulfil this. It will be slightly easier if the pool of donors available was increased.
Recently a close friend of ours had a heart and lung transplant as well as a pancreas replacement. Our friend waited on tenderhooks for a transplant. She was lucky, a donor was found just in time. Many, many people are not this fortunate.
There maybe religious reasons why a person cannot be a donor, however, for most of us what difference will it really make. It may help a person that is actually in real need.
The question is one of "what if?" How will we ever know if there is a next life, how will we ever know if our bodies intact are going to be part of the next step. The answer is that we will probably not know until it is too late to react. Are we prepared to take a risk that we could help others and trust either in a God to take pity on us or our next step will not require organs for our rebirth, if there is to be anything like this.
The decision is purely a personal one. Our belief may be a passionate one, and the will to achieve strong. But this decision is ours and ours alone.
Most people actually don't care, carrying a donor card or not is of no consequence to them. Most people simply have never got round to filling a form in, and talking to loved ones about wishes. This is probably an unconcious way of not actually facing up to mortality. Would these people be happier to just have opted-in by default and let the medical people get on with it. The saddest part of this is whilst they dither or just can't be bothered people are dying unnecessarily through a lack of transplant organs.
What is more criminal a government initiative to help provide organs that may be a little like "big brother" or doing nothing and going to the grave intact but knowing that potentially useable organs will just rot or burn.
In life we go through lots, some good and some bad. In some instances we grab at whatever and take as much as possible that is to be taken. Is so wrong to want to give a little back, when we probably won't lament the loss, but can help so much. At the moment a lot of people can't smile as everything seems black. Families are desperate and then distraught as husbands and wives, sons and daughters are lost needlessly. Is it not the greatest gift available if life can be prolonged for these people.
I have 3 children and a wife, i relish in everyday that I see the children grow. I revel in every minute I get to be with my wife. How would I cope if robbed of this? How will I manage if my wife does need a kidney in the future and through lack of support we cannot get one quickly enough. How would my best friend be now if he had lost his wife and was left with a toddler to explain things to, if someone, somewhere was not carrying a card.
Should the government be able to force this decison upon us? That view must remain unanswered and a personal feeling. The bigger question is one of whether it is fair to not help people live through our death, because this decision reveals our mortality and that is what we don't like.
Put aside selfish thoughts, put away feelings of creepiness (that we all have over this!!), forget the "what if" question. It is very simple we all take, take, take, this is a chance to give back a little something. Is the warm feeling that this knowledge brings not enough to actually make the decison a lot easier to make.
Don't sit on thoughts, don't wait until it is too late. A chance exists to feel proud and to do something that through the sorrow of departure will make grieving families and friends proud. The ability to provide, the ability to have that power at our fingertips, and the knowing that this will happen is what we all want and all can do.
I SAY PREPARE NOW TO SAVE LIVES IN THE FUTURE - OPT-IN TODAY REGARDLESS
Friday 11 January 2008
10th Jan - How does this work???!!!
I just heard a news item about our "esteemed" leader of a few months ago. How could we as a country not have been "Great" Britain with the Labour party and Mr. Blair at our helm???!!!!!
Mr. Blair has now taken a job as "an advisor" for an American investement bank. He will be paid a basic salary for this role of at least £500K per annum.
Now how does this work? What exactly is being "advised" upon.......
Mr. Blair has now taken a job as "an advisor" for an American investement bank. He will be paid a basic salary for this role of at least £500K per annum.
Now how does this work? What exactly is being "advised" upon.......
- How to run a country? Maybe this should read How NOT to run a country?
- The Labour Party and war?
- How to be a puppet for another country
- How to enter into a war that no-one really understands or can see the point of?
- Man management?
- Spin Doctor management?
- Spin Doctor understanding?
- Relationship Building
Surely the role should actually be on of "doors that can be opened using My name" and "Business that can be won, as I was the English PM"
Why can't the bank be honest, everyone, even the Police, have a deliverable and target, (Thames Valley ask for 300 points per month of motorist tickets) and a bank has a large financial target to hit. Let's be realistic to earn a salary of £10K per week the ex-PM must have promised he can generate around £100k per week of additional revenue, and sustain this. A tall target to meet!!
I absolutely do not think any politician, especially an ex-PM, should not benefit from this previous role. An ex-PM must have an address book that reads like Who's Who and why not use some of these contacts.
But this is a man who can't even be straight about his religious leanings, one minute he is resolutely C of E and yet now he is staunch Catholic, like his wife, he has lived as a Catholic for many years hence his recent fatherhood, so why state he is so much of a C of E person when he is so obviously not!!!!
I do not have an issue about this either, but how is his new role going to help Britain, and how can he be taken seriously when this was obviously his long term game plan and yet personally he "doesn't know." All I ask, and continue to ask is for a little honesty.
I believe our previous "leader" may write his memoirs, i have a few suggestions for the title -
- Countries I have known
- Resources I have helped others take control of
- The Tony Blair book of good decisions - A very thin book!!
- The Tony Balir book of People I know - A very heavy book!!
- The Tony Blair book of how to ignore any advice given
- The Tony Blair book of how to ignore a WHOLE country asking WHY??!!
- Management for Dummies
I am sure i could go on and on with titles and also with this "rant" but I won't, although I offer doubt over Mr. Blair, I am sure I would say the same about other leaders. I am sure when Mr. Brown is removed he will have made a worse mess of things, and i shall go on even more.
So I am a little annoyed by this "new role" maybe at the bank more than the man, but I am concerned because ultimately WE have all been affected in the past by Mr. Blairs decisions, and we may still be, and this is the problem.
I welcome any additional comments, whatever you really think......
Wednesday 9 January 2008
A very quick rant having read a news release
This is just a quick rant having just read a news release about the M&S quarterly sales figures......
Today is the 9th of January and M&S are saying that like for like sales are down by 2.2%.
Now M&S say this is due to market forces, consumer confidence being down, interest rates, the cash squeeze etc...
I say NO, the sales in M&S are down for other reasons. In my opinion, and only in my opinion, the reason M&S sales are down is purely as they do not have enough stock or any idea of what they actually have.
I am still trying to sort out my Christmas orders as firstly M&S cancel my order, then dispatch it!! I have received some but not all of it, and M&S remain silent. Despite my continual requests to speak to them to try and solve issues and find out what they think I should have and what I actually have.
So I would say that market forces may have effected the M&S sales, and telling me goods are not any old goods but M&S goods in TV adverts may be good for them, but as a consumer I now am using other online suppliers as I can no longer trust M&S
Let us be honest, I get stuff from Hong Kong in 2 weeks, the USA in 1 week and other suppliers in the UK, who are actually only small in comparison, can get me goods in a day!!
Is my confidence with M&S who just don't know what they have done or suppliers that do.
M&S have always been viewed as the main-stay of British retailing, I am afraid that these laurels cannot be rested upon and these figures and mine, and other consumers experiences, just go to prove this further.
Mr. Rose may be spouting off all sorts of "pink spectacle" quotes and the belief may be that it is fine. But I suggest sell the group to Philip Green and let him get on with making M&S back to the mainstay of the British retail market again.
Any thoughts????
Today is the 9th of January and M&S are saying that like for like sales are down by 2.2%.
Now M&S say this is due to market forces, consumer confidence being down, interest rates, the cash squeeze etc...
I say NO, the sales in M&S are down for other reasons. In my opinion, and only in my opinion, the reason M&S sales are down is purely as they do not have enough stock or any idea of what they actually have.
I am still trying to sort out my Christmas orders as firstly M&S cancel my order, then dispatch it!! I have received some but not all of it, and M&S remain silent. Despite my continual requests to speak to them to try and solve issues and find out what they think I should have and what I actually have.
So I would say that market forces may have effected the M&S sales, and telling me goods are not any old goods but M&S goods in TV adverts may be good for them, but as a consumer I now am using other online suppliers as I can no longer trust M&S
Let us be honest, I get stuff from Hong Kong in 2 weeks, the USA in 1 week and other suppliers in the UK, who are actually only small in comparison, can get me goods in a day!!
Is my confidence with M&S who just don't know what they have done or suppliers that do.
M&S have always been viewed as the main-stay of British retailing, I am afraid that these laurels cannot be rested upon and these figures and mine, and other consumers experiences, just go to prove this further.
Mr. Rose may be spouting off all sorts of "pink spectacle" quotes and the belief may be that it is fine. But I suggest sell the group to Philip Green and let him get on with making M&S back to the mainstay of the British retail market again.
Any thoughts????
Tuesday 8 January 2008
8th January 2008 - Is blood really thicker than water??
It is a cold and blustery day just 8 days into 2008. But it is a reasonable day, life continues, the big wheel we are on continues to turn. All in all there is nothing today to "rant" about....... or is there?? A question has been raised, a thought has been aired. Whilst we all look at blood ties to be important, are they as thick as ties not linked to family??
Let's explore the pro's and con's of this situation........
Let us look at the blood ties and what these can potentially mean.
A blood tie means that the other party is a mother or father, maybe a brother or sister. What could be a stronger bond than that formed by the act of birth. Support and agreement from the age of "0" to the very end and quite often beyond.
A family tie outwardly presents a united front, to be a non-critical person who is in agreement publically to all statements. Strengthening and enforcing the signals that unreservedly present an agreement of parties, and an outward vision.
Behind closed doors a family may not fully agree with statements or actions, views or opinionsmade by a member of the inner circle. Behind closed doors the debate may rage in parallel with fury being vented. BUT outwardly the blood tie remains intact and presents a strong and unified front.
That is how a blood tie works, surely??
Now, a non-blood tie is a different type of bond. It is a bond often made between two allies in the first flushes of childhood, it may blossom into a fairytale love affair, it may grow to present a strong marriage or unification, it may remain and strengthen into an unshakeable bond of friendship that lasts from cradle to grave.
Is this alledgedly "thinner" type of bond weaker than that of a blood tie. Whilst a family tie is meant to be forever who is to judge that a friendship and trust is not stronger and longer lasting?
Surely a bond is reversible, surely a friendship either by family or from outside is not necessarily forever. It could be argued that irrespective of anything that happens a blood tie is a bond that remains to the very end. Family is Family.
But what of a Wife or Husband, or Step-Parent, officially these people are not blood, a husband or wife is chosen as a life partner, they fill the roll of mother, father, brother and sister. They listen to all a partners worries, problems, jokes or sad stories. A partner keeps secrets and lies behind closed doors. Rarely a partner scorns in public.
A Step-Parent fills the void left by the breakdown of a relationship or, and worse, a death. Often a child refers to a step parent as a monster and never give them a chance. In reality a step parent is as scared as the juvenille about the future. They have given all to their new partner, they bring with them the baggage of children. From experience a step-parent just wants to support the partner and will do ANYTHING to achieve this, acting as a new parent is just one of these tasks.
So are these ties lesser than those of blood? The involved parties are not tied by blood. People fall out, people profess to dislike each other but surely no more often than a family member.
What of friends, not casual aquaintances met during the journey of life and then discarded at a later date. But true lifelong friends. These people can be utterly relied upon. The friend will laugh with one, and cry with one. If we pass on before a friend or vice versa true friends often still talk, albeit a little one sided!! Whilst most shed a tear at the loss of someone it has to be acknowledged that a true friend probably keeps shedding.
Most can count true friends on only one hand, lucky ones can use both hands. Very, very few will be able to count many more. I have true friends, they know who they are. We may not see each other for a whole year. Our contact may be just a quick text or e-mail. Like the character in the book by Jerome K Jerome, sometimes just an old laundry ticket is sent to them, but they will know that somewhere along the way they were thought of, and when we do meet or talk time seems to be no boundary and the gaps between talks or meetings appear not to exist.
Will a true Blood relative conjour up this link. Maybe?
I love my wife, i trust her more than any other person she is not a blood relative but one i shared some sort of empathy with. I chose this tie.
I can count my true friends below 10, i trust these people, i discuss things with them and ask for their advice. i value this neutral advice. I chose these ties.
I have a step-mother, my late father considered her his confident, that is good enough for me, i trust her fully and i value her advice. I chose to accept this tie and ultimately this led to my choosing my tie.
My family, i did not choose, i was chosen for them. i trust them as they are my family. Despite all that happens they remain my family and through loyalty they support me as i support them. Is this loyalty misplaced and forced upon them? I was not consulted on these ties.
This statement cannot be proven, it is too hypothetical. Regardless of all that happens and regardless of how anti-each other a family is, regardless of how long a severance has been a family is still a family.
Now the original question here was one of whether "Blood is thicker than Water"
I conclude that in my opinion the tie of true friends or partners is as thick or thicker than that of blood. Where blood remains thicker or stronger as a bond is where this is compared to a friendship or partner situation that is not true or for life, over this example Blood will always be thicker.
I am lucky my partner is my true partner and my close friends are my true friends. These ties are without cracks. i recognize those that may not be classed in this pool, and this is the real difference.
What is the opinion of others?? Post your views and let me see if i am right or wrong, i am strong in my conviction but i am also open to criticism of these views.....what are yours??
Let's explore the pro's and con's of this situation........
Let us look at the blood ties and what these can potentially mean.
A blood tie means that the other party is a mother or father, maybe a brother or sister. What could be a stronger bond than that formed by the act of birth. Support and agreement from the age of "0" to the very end and quite often beyond.
A family tie outwardly presents a united front, to be a non-critical person who is in agreement publically to all statements. Strengthening and enforcing the signals that unreservedly present an agreement of parties, and an outward vision.
Behind closed doors a family may not fully agree with statements or actions, views or opinionsmade by a member of the inner circle. Behind closed doors the debate may rage in parallel with fury being vented. BUT outwardly the blood tie remains intact and presents a strong and unified front.
That is how a blood tie works, surely??
Now, a non-blood tie is a different type of bond. It is a bond often made between two allies in the first flushes of childhood, it may blossom into a fairytale love affair, it may grow to present a strong marriage or unification, it may remain and strengthen into an unshakeable bond of friendship that lasts from cradle to grave.
Is this alledgedly "thinner" type of bond weaker than that of a blood tie. Whilst a family tie is meant to be forever who is to judge that a friendship and trust is not stronger and longer lasting?
Surely a bond is reversible, surely a friendship either by family or from outside is not necessarily forever. It could be argued that irrespective of anything that happens a blood tie is a bond that remains to the very end. Family is Family.
But what of a Wife or Husband, or Step-Parent, officially these people are not blood, a husband or wife is chosen as a life partner, they fill the roll of mother, father, brother and sister. They listen to all a partners worries, problems, jokes or sad stories. A partner keeps secrets and lies behind closed doors. Rarely a partner scorns in public.
A Step-Parent fills the void left by the breakdown of a relationship or, and worse, a death. Often a child refers to a step parent as a monster and never give them a chance. In reality a step parent is as scared as the juvenille about the future. They have given all to their new partner, they bring with them the baggage of children. From experience a step-parent just wants to support the partner and will do ANYTHING to achieve this, acting as a new parent is just one of these tasks.
So are these ties lesser than those of blood? The involved parties are not tied by blood. People fall out, people profess to dislike each other but surely no more often than a family member.
What of friends, not casual aquaintances met during the journey of life and then discarded at a later date. But true lifelong friends. These people can be utterly relied upon. The friend will laugh with one, and cry with one. If we pass on before a friend or vice versa true friends often still talk, albeit a little one sided!! Whilst most shed a tear at the loss of someone it has to be acknowledged that a true friend probably keeps shedding.
Most can count true friends on only one hand, lucky ones can use both hands. Very, very few will be able to count many more. I have true friends, they know who they are. We may not see each other for a whole year. Our contact may be just a quick text or e-mail. Like the character in the book by Jerome K Jerome, sometimes just an old laundry ticket is sent to them, but they will know that somewhere along the way they were thought of, and when we do meet or talk time seems to be no boundary and the gaps between talks or meetings appear not to exist.
Will a true Blood relative conjour up this link. Maybe?
I love my wife, i trust her more than any other person she is not a blood relative but one i shared some sort of empathy with. I chose this tie.
I can count my true friends below 10, i trust these people, i discuss things with them and ask for their advice. i value this neutral advice. I chose these ties.
I have a step-mother, my late father considered her his confident, that is good enough for me, i trust her fully and i value her advice. I chose to accept this tie and ultimately this led to my choosing my tie.
My family, i did not choose, i was chosen for them. i trust them as they are my family. Despite all that happens they remain my family and through loyalty they support me as i support them. Is this loyalty misplaced and forced upon them? I was not consulted on these ties.
This statement cannot be proven, it is too hypothetical. Regardless of all that happens and regardless of how anti-each other a family is, regardless of how long a severance has been a family is still a family.
Now the original question here was one of whether "Blood is thicker than Water"
I conclude that in my opinion the tie of true friends or partners is as thick or thicker than that of blood. Where blood remains thicker or stronger as a bond is where this is compared to a friendship or partner situation that is not true or for life, over this example Blood will always be thicker.
I am lucky my partner is my true partner and my close friends are my true friends. These ties are without cracks. i recognize those that may not be classed in this pool, and this is the real difference.
What is the opinion of others?? Post your views and let me see if i am right or wrong, i am strong in my conviction but i am also open to criticism of these views.....what are yours??
Monday 7 January 2008
7th January 2008 - Rant for Today, it seems to be me, me, me!!!
Today is the first real day back at work after the New Year festivities.
2008 is going to be good, 2008 is going to be full of memorable events and 2008 is going to be a year of opportunity...........
I will do everything I can to make these beliefs reality. I will do all I can to help my family benefit from these thoughts, and I will do all possible to help my family and friends through any tribulations that may befall them. I know they have done for me in the past and i am sure will carry on in the future.
I know what a very demanding person I am, and I know that many things I experience and have experienced before seem to cause or have caused no end of issues and more problems than for others.
Because in my fragile state issues that would normally be "a nothing" or better still something to laugh about, currently and in the past seem huge problems.
I know that to most people whether or not the chocolate on Bourbon bisuits is real is very unimportant, and I realise that to me this should also be of no consequence, but, for some reason even this is important to me and may cause me a worry. My family have put up with this, my wife has understood this, been my true soulmate throughout all, and kept my children fairly oblivious to this strange mania.
My friends - my true friends who know who they are - have understood my strange mania, often have made me laugh and have just been there for me as I need them.
I know that things don't just go away and get better over-night, and I know a long and interesting journey to travel remains ahead, but, every day the destination gets a little closer and without my wife, my children and my friends it would still be a lot further away.
My analagy revolving around biscuits is in many ways flippant, however, it is also not that far from reality. Small issues may be huge to me the difference is the "carpet" doesn't have as much swept under it and I am seeing again that it is actually often easier to deal with an issue head on rather than ignoring it and hoping it will go away.
I appreciate that dealing with stuff head on frequently creates its own problems. A normal rational person may well see this as an opportunity and relish the challenges created.
I still see more problems than opportunities, however, and purely as a result of the support I have, I now see some opportunity, and now I can sometimes turn around a bad situation and see a solution.
Now, this is a "rant" and a little idealistic, but, I (and others) have been through the mill and seen badness in everything. It is this that has spured on this rambling blog. I am not a doctor, physcologist or counsellor. I am just an average dad, who is away from home frequently trying hard, and not always managing, to support my family as they need.
And so I make this offer, with no strings, and no solutions implied or promised, but an offer never the less, to read any comments posted and to offer advice on these from my experiences.
Who knows from this friendships may spring up, solutions may be found, a bespoke "help" blog may begin. Most of all a problem shared may be one for many to help with, and as I have received so much help in the past this is a small way to give something back............
Post away!!!
2008 is going to be good, 2008 is going to be full of memorable events and 2008 is going to be a year of opportunity...........
I will do everything I can to make these beliefs reality. I will do all I can to help my family benefit from these thoughts, and I will do all possible to help my family and friends through any tribulations that may befall them. I know they have done for me in the past and i am sure will carry on in the future.
I know what a very demanding person I am, and I know that many things I experience and have experienced before seem to cause or have caused no end of issues and more problems than for others.
Because in my fragile state issues that would normally be "a nothing" or better still something to laugh about, currently and in the past seem huge problems.
I know that to most people whether or not the chocolate on Bourbon bisuits is real is very unimportant, and I realise that to me this should also be of no consequence, but, for some reason even this is important to me and may cause me a worry. My family have put up with this, my wife has understood this, been my true soulmate throughout all, and kept my children fairly oblivious to this strange mania.
My friends - my true friends who know who they are - have understood my strange mania, often have made me laugh and have just been there for me as I need them.
I know that things don't just go away and get better over-night, and I know a long and interesting journey to travel remains ahead, but, every day the destination gets a little closer and without my wife, my children and my friends it would still be a lot further away.
My analagy revolving around biscuits is in many ways flippant, however, it is also not that far from reality. Small issues may be huge to me the difference is the "carpet" doesn't have as much swept under it and I am seeing again that it is actually often easier to deal with an issue head on rather than ignoring it and hoping it will go away.
I appreciate that dealing with stuff head on frequently creates its own problems. A normal rational person may well see this as an opportunity and relish the challenges created.
I still see more problems than opportunities, however, and purely as a result of the support I have, I now see some opportunity, and now I can sometimes turn around a bad situation and see a solution.
Now, this is a "rant" and a little idealistic, but, I (and others) have been through the mill and seen badness in everything. It is this that has spured on this rambling blog. I am not a doctor, physcologist or counsellor. I am just an average dad, who is away from home frequently trying hard, and not always managing, to support my family as they need.
And so I make this offer, with no strings, and no solutions implied or promised, but an offer never the less, to read any comments posted and to offer advice on these from my experiences.
Who knows from this friendships may spring up, solutions may be found, a bespoke "help" blog may begin. Most of all a problem shared may be one for many to help with, and as I have received so much help in the past this is a small way to give something back............
Post away!!!
Saturday 5 January 2008
5th January - A Thought...
Today is the 5th January, the new year is 5 days old, although it is only 5 days in, it seems to have been 2008 for a long time now...........
Tomorrow is the 6th, for the religious types this is Twelth Night. It is meant to be the day that the 3 Wisemen made it to Bethlehem to see Jesus and present him with Frankincense, Myrrh and Gold. I am sure a baby wouldn't know what it was and probably the parents would have preferred Mothercare vouchers or some sort of snowsuit, but hey who are we to question this?!!
In the West we are supposed to celebrate this day and also use it as a signal that the Christmas festivities are ending. Tradition would say that any decorations left up after this date become mischevious spirits, and worse these decorations need to now be left up until Easter. What state will the Tree be in by then??
But my thought, or question is just a query -
Officially the end of Christmas is tomorrow, however how many of us have waited until then? Retail would have us believe that Boxing Day is a good day for the sales to start and thus the season to change. How many of us have had enough of decorations and cards and over the last few days these have been taken down stored for another year and the house "de-Christmased".
Now i love Christmas as much as anyone, and for me the build up really begins around the end of October as the rush towards December really begins. However, even I had begun to suffer from fatigue by Christmas Day and by the middle of last week enough was enough. When my decorations came down today (5th December) it was with relief and not my usual sadness that things were stored away.
Now i know i could rant on and on about this, but, i have a theory. If someone like me who views Christmas as a glimmer to hold on to and a time ahead that is getting closer, is fatigued by it all what chance do we have?
I think this air of fatigue has been born from the way Christmas is now approached. It is started earlier and earlier each year. A certain landmark shop in Knightsbridge opens their Christmas shop at the start of August. By early September the supermarkets are well along the Christmas trail and all of the catalogues are arriving. The shopping channels are showing Christmas programmes and if cards aren't ordered by now it may be too late!! Lots of Christmas items needed are now "out of stock."
I think this massively (and growing) prolonged season is the reason that by December everyone has had enough, by Christmas itself people have lost interest (or the will to live!!) and by New Year all that everyone wants is to get back to work and get on with things!!
Twelth Night is forgotten and decorations are long gone.
The real question though, is to ask if this speeding us is wrong? Should Christmas become a burden after a few days or should it be looked forwards to and clung onto?
If things stayas they are it will be a burden for ever more and as the season starts earlier each year it will become, eventually, a non-event.
Or should we view Christmas as it is meant to be, a few days "off the roundabout" a few days to think of each other, family and friends. This is not a religious thought, just one of reality. Is Christmas a time for each other, strangers or not, when actually a smile to someone else will not hurt, and, because at Christmas we don't have pretence, may provide a glow that lasts through the coldest winter and into a warm summer.
So i say do not start Christmas in August, do not feel brassed off by November, do not ignore the Festivities after January 1st. Tomorrow is the end of Christmas, say farewell with a laugh and a cheer. Enjoy Twelth Night, become the King and Queen for the day.
January and February are bleak but stuff still happens, next week(ish) is Wassail, then it is Shrove Tuesday. Valentines Day and then Easter will raise its head. So make the most of crisp mornings and early evenings by a fire. Walk in the woods, dance by the fire. Drink warm drinks and remember the nice things whilst looking ahead to warm balmy days of summer.
And amongst all, after tomorrow, don't plan or think about planning next Christmas until the END OF OCTOBER!!!!!
Tomorrow is the 6th, for the religious types this is Twelth Night. It is meant to be the day that the 3 Wisemen made it to Bethlehem to see Jesus and present him with Frankincense, Myrrh and Gold. I am sure a baby wouldn't know what it was and probably the parents would have preferred Mothercare vouchers or some sort of snowsuit, but hey who are we to question this?!!
In the West we are supposed to celebrate this day and also use it as a signal that the Christmas festivities are ending. Tradition would say that any decorations left up after this date become mischevious spirits, and worse these decorations need to now be left up until Easter. What state will the Tree be in by then??
But my thought, or question is just a query -
Officially the end of Christmas is tomorrow, however how many of us have waited until then? Retail would have us believe that Boxing Day is a good day for the sales to start and thus the season to change. How many of us have had enough of decorations and cards and over the last few days these have been taken down stored for another year and the house "de-Christmased".
Now i love Christmas as much as anyone, and for me the build up really begins around the end of October as the rush towards December really begins. However, even I had begun to suffer from fatigue by Christmas Day and by the middle of last week enough was enough. When my decorations came down today (5th December) it was with relief and not my usual sadness that things were stored away.
Now i know i could rant on and on about this, but, i have a theory. If someone like me who views Christmas as a glimmer to hold on to and a time ahead that is getting closer, is fatigued by it all what chance do we have?
I think this air of fatigue has been born from the way Christmas is now approached. It is started earlier and earlier each year. A certain landmark shop in Knightsbridge opens their Christmas shop at the start of August. By early September the supermarkets are well along the Christmas trail and all of the catalogues are arriving. The shopping channels are showing Christmas programmes and if cards aren't ordered by now it may be too late!! Lots of Christmas items needed are now "out of stock."
I think this massively (and growing) prolonged season is the reason that by December everyone has had enough, by Christmas itself people have lost interest (or the will to live!!) and by New Year all that everyone wants is to get back to work and get on with things!!
Twelth Night is forgotten and decorations are long gone.
The real question though, is to ask if this speeding us is wrong? Should Christmas become a burden after a few days or should it be looked forwards to and clung onto?
If things stayas they are it will be a burden for ever more and as the season starts earlier each year it will become, eventually, a non-event.
Or should we view Christmas as it is meant to be, a few days "off the roundabout" a few days to think of each other, family and friends. This is not a religious thought, just one of reality. Is Christmas a time for each other, strangers or not, when actually a smile to someone else will not hurt, and, because at Christmas we don't have pretence, may provide a glow that lasts through the coldest winter and into a warm summer.
So i say do not start Christmas in August, do not feel brassed off by November, do not ignore the Festivities after January 1st. Tomorrow is the end of Christmas, say farewell with a laugh and a cheer. Enjoy Twelth Night, become the King and Queen for the day.
January and February are bleak but stuff still happens, next week(ish) is Wassail, then it is Shrove Tuesday. Valentines Day and then Easter will raise its head. So make the most of crisp mornings and early evenings by a fire. Walk in the woods, dance by the fire. Drink warm drinks and remember the nice things whilst looking ahead to warm balmy days of summer.
And amongst all, after tomorrow, don't plan or think about planning next Christmas until the END OF OCTOBER!!!!!
Friday 4 January 2008
4th January - 4 Days in!!
Firstly some Birthday greetings that i feel are very special -
- Niki - Happy Birthday, you know who you are and how special you are as my friend, sounding board, and help. Thank you
- Harvey - Today you are 1 and with everything ahead of you, keep smiling little one and enjoying what life has to offer
- Si - Tomorrow is your big day, after many years of friendship you are still the best i can ask for, raise a glass from me if i cannot be with you physically.
- Grandad - On the 8th of this month you will be 91, what an achievement. Over the past years you have seen so much, fought in a war for our freedom and still found time to bring up 2 children. One of which is the Mother of my wife and because of you a great in-law. Happy Birthday and congratulations from All
Post a comment if it is your birthday or a loved ones and my Best Wishes go out to all.....
And so today i have no real rant about issues, no "grumpy" man stuff. Just thoughts of the future and how we can address it -
Niki, Si (and Me!!) are midway through our time, have we achieved? Certainly we have seen a lot, done a lot, cried often and laughed as much. We are all married, Niki and i have children, Si is not this mad, or just not ready yet!! In our own small worlds we give as much as we can. Sometimes we despair and sometimes we don't. We don't always achieve all that is required and we don't always feel we have achieved at all, however, looking from outside maybe we are "up the tree" and lucky as we have families and friends. We care for others and they care for us in their own way. Maybe we are doing ok??!!
As regards Harvey, he is 1. what a chance, now we all marvel at every small achievement and growth. We watch in wonder as that small person explores all around. And he is growing and will grow so quickly, before we know it Harvey will be 4 and then 7 and then 10 and suddenly he will be 18 and above and all grown up. So we must hang on to his coattails now and hope he takes us along for the ride.
And finally Grandad, he is 91 next week. Now 91 is a phenominal achievement in itself, and believe me not much passes him by. He may get names muddled up, and maybe he can't remember what was for Breakfast, but, his memory is fine and after 91 years worth of experience think of what he can teach. He has seen horrors, wonders, events and happenings and whilst we clamour for hindsight he has it at his fingertips.
I may not reach 91, i may not reach 39 who knows, but i can only hope that i have an ounce of this statesmans knowledge and integrity to carry me forwards.
So here is the thought, the view for today -
When we are born do we get assigned a guide. During the first formative years are they around a lot? how many times do our young children say someone is with them and they aren't scared?
During our middle life does our guides steering diminish as we make our own judgements or mistakes? Does the guide just step in when needed? How often has someone been in dreams that we can't quite identify?
And then as we grow old, and near our current lifes end, does the guide become more visible to us? Does the guide then impart knowledge to allow a smooth and prepared for passing to whatever is next?
Now we might not know, and we might only realize at the end when it is too late to share, but maybe this theory, and it is only a theory, has some element of truth in it. Maybe this thought will help us all. It may be utter rubbish, but it might not be, and this small idea might allow the future to become clearer for us all in some way.
Why not add your views too??
Wednesday 2 January 2008
2nd January - Todays thought......
Here we are on the 2nd day of a whole new year, not just any year but a leap year as well. This means there are 357 days until Christmas 2008.
Now i appreciate that this sounds like doom and gloom and a suggestion that Christmas is over and it is a whole 357 days until December 25th next. But it is not.......
Let's spend a few minutes looking at where we really are -
I am sure there are lots of other examples to firmly stamp the "end of Christmas" message around.
But is Christmas really over? in essence it is, and January and February are known to be bleak months with long dark nights and cold days as well as not offering a lot to look forwards to. However, and spoken as someone who currently has viewed the glass as half empty, is all really bad?
Open the cupboards in the kitchen, there is still food left from the festivities be it a few sweets, an extra can of beans just in case or some strange delicacy that could not be lived without. Move a sofa or chair and smile when an undiscovered decoration appears to remind.
Think of all the presents received, maybe small like a car cleaning sponge or vast like a new car, but these were bought as the buyer felt they were special. Everytime the car is cleaned the sponge reminds us of Christmas, everytime the new car is driven..... the same.
Christmas has links to lots of festivities, and lots of religious fervour. Maybe Christ was born, maybe pagan rites like the Yule Log will bring a year of peace and calm, maybe a little oil did stay alight for 8 days instead of 2 celebrated is Chanukah, maybe Good did overwhelm Evil in all of us as Diwali says.
All of these beliefs lead to a mid-winter festival of some sort. For ease lots of people say it is Christmas and celebrate on the 24th,25th and 26th of December, other religions celebrate at other times in December.
And so the thought to end on..............
Christmas (or Chanukah, Diwali, Yule or whatever) is not about sales in the shops, it is not about present lists, it is not about "what we didn't get".
I am still young(ish!!) but i remember Sunday closing, surely the shops should be asked to stay closed 25th and 26th December to give shop workers a chance to enjoy as well.
It is about a few days to step off the rounabout and reflect on the year, look towards the next. It is time to spend with or talking to friends and family and being as one, it is a time when magic can happen and sometimes does.
Everyone -of all ages - has a Santa Claus, some just do not realize or recognize him. I might not be a man in a plush red suit, but someone, somewhere is there for all. The "Santa" may just be a smile, it may be a gift.
The skill is recognizing and believing in this that keeps Christmas (or others) alive and well all year and not just for a few days to then be mourned.
Now i appreciate that this sounds like doom and gloom and a suggestion that Christmas is over and it is a whole 357 days until December 25th next. But it is not.......
Let's spend a few minutes looking at where we really are -
- Christmas and all that goes with it is over, this cannot be changed.
- The shops began their sales on Boxing Day (26th December) if the sales had not started before
- Easter Eggs are in the shops, and in some shops (Staples) they were out before Christmas
- A lot of people began work again today
- All of the papers and magazines we read are full of revues of 2007 and how to loose weight in 2008 and be fitter.
I am sure there are lots of other examples to firmly stamp the "end of Christmas" message around.
But is Christmas really over? in essence it is, and January and February are known to be bleak months with long dark nights and cold days as well as not offering a lot to look forwards to. However, and spoken as someone who currently has viewed the glass as half empty, is all really bad?
Open the cupboards in the kitchen, there is still food left from the festivities be it a few sweets, an extra can of beans just in case or some strange delicacy that could not be lived without. Move a sofa or chair and smile when an undiscovered decoration appears to remind.
Think of all the presents received, maybe small like a car cleaning sponge or vast like a new car, but these were bought as the buyer felt they were special. Everytime the car is cleaned the sponge reminds us of Christmas, everytime the new car is driven..... the same.
Christmas has links to lots of festivities, and lots of religious fervour. Maybe Christ was born, maybe pagan rites like the Yule Log will bring a year of peace and calm, maybe a little oil did stay alight for 8 days instead of 2 celebrated is Chanukah, maybe Good did overwhelm Evil in all of us as Diwali says.
All of these beliefs lead to a mid-winter festival of some sort. For ease lots of people say it is Christmas and celebrate on the 24th,25th and 26th of December, other religions celebrate at other times in December.
And so the thought to end on..............
Christmas (or Chanukah, Diwali, Yule or whatever) is not about sales in the shops, it is not about present lists, it is not about "what we didn't get".
I am still young(ish!!) but i remember Sunday closing, surely the shops should be asked to stay closed 25th and 26th December to give shop workers a chance to enjoy as well.
It is about a few days to step off the rounabout and reflect on the year, look towards the next. It is time to spend with or talking to friends and family and being as one, it is a time when magic can happen and sometimes does.
Everyone -of all ages - has a Santa Claus, some just do not realize or recognize him. I might not be a man in a plush red suit, but someone, somewhere is there for all. The "Santa" may just be a smile, it may be a gift.
The skill is recognizing and believing in this that keeps Christmas (or others) alive and well all year and not just for a few days to then be mourned.
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