8th January 2008 - Is blood really thicker than water??

It is a cold and blustery day just 8 days into 2008. But it is a reasonable day, life continues, the big wheel we are on continues to turn. All in all there is nothing today to "rant" about....... or is there?? A question has been raised, a thought has been aired. Whilst we all look at blood ties to be important, are they as thick as ties not linked to family??

Let's explore the pro's and con's of this situation........

Let us look at the blood ties and what these can potentially mean.

A blood tie means that the other party is a mother or father, maybe a brother or sister. What could be a stronger bond than that formed by the act of birth. Support and agreement from the age of "0" to the very end and quite often beyond.

A family tie outwardly presents a united front, to be a non-critical person who is in agreement publically to all statements. Strengthening and enforcing the signals that unreservedly present an agreement of parties, and an outward vision.

Behind closed doors a family may not fully agree with statements or actions, views or opinionsmade by a member of the inner circle. Behind closed doors the debate may rage in parallel with fury being vented. BUT outwardly the blood tie remains intact and presents a strong and unified front.

That is how a blood tie works, surely??

Now, a non-blood tie is a different type of bond. It is a bond often made between two allies in the first flushes of childhood, it may blossom into a fairytale love affair, it may grow to present a strong marriage or unification, it may remain and strengthen into an unshakeable bond of friendship that lasts from cradle to grave.

Is this alledgedly "thinner" type of bond weaker than that of a blood tie. Whilst a family tie is meant to be forever who is to judge that a friendship and trust is not stronger and longer lasting?

Surely a bond is reversible, surely a friendship either by family or from outside is not necessarily forever. It could be argued that irrespective of anything that happens a blood tie is a bond that remains to the very end. Family is Family.

But what of a Wife or Husband, or Step-Parent, officially these people are not blood, a husband or wife is chosen as a life partner, they fill the roll of mother, father, brother and sister. They listen to all a partners worries, problems, jokes or sad stories. A partner keeps secrets and lies behind closed doors. Rarely a partner scorns in public.

A Step-Parent fills the void left by the breakdown of a relationship or, and worse, a death. Often a child refers to a step parent as a monster and never give them a chance. In reality a step parent is as scared as the juvenille about the future. They have given all to their new partner, they bring with them the baggage of children. From experience a step-parent just wants to support the partner and will do ANYTHING to achieve this, acting as a new parent is just one of these tasks.

So are these ties lesser than those of blood? The involved parties are not tied by blood. People fall out, people profess to dislike each other but surely no more often than a family member.

What of friends, not casual aquaintances met during the journey of life and then discarded at a later date. But true lifelong friends. These people can be utterly relied upon. The friend will laugh with one, and cry with one. If we pass on before a friend or vice versa true friends often still talk, albeit a little one sided!! Whilst most shed a tear at the loss of someone it has to be acknowledged that a true friend probably keeps shedding.

Most can count true friends on only one hand, lucky ones can use both hands. Very, very few will be able to count many more. I have true friends, they know who they are. We may not see each other for a whole year. Our contact may be just a quick text or e-mail. Like the character in the book by Jerome K Jerome, sometimes just an old laundry ticket is sent to them, but they will know that somewhere along the way they were thought of, and when we do meet or talk time seems to be no boundary and the gaps between talks or meetings appear not to exist.

Will a true Blood relative conjour up this link. Maybe?

I love my wife, i trust her more than any other person she is not a blood relative but one i shared some sort of empathy with. I chose this tie.

I can count my true friends below 10, i trust these people, i discuss things with them and ask for their advice. i value this neutral advice. I chose these ties.

I have a step-mother, my late father considered her his confident, that is good enough for me, i trust her fully and i value her advice. I chose to accept this tie and ultimately this led to my choosing my tie.

My family, i did not choose, i was chosen for them. i trust them as they are my family. Despite all that happens they remain my family and through loyalty they support me as i support them. Is this loyalty misplaced and forced upon them? I was not consulted on these ties.

This statement cannot be proven, it is too hypothetical. Regardless of all that happens and regardless of how anti-each other a family is, regardless of how long a severance has been a family is still a family.

Now the original question here was one of whether "Blood is thicker than Water"

I conclude that in my opinion the tie of true friends or partners is as thick or thicker than that of blood. Where blood remains thicker or stronger as a bond is where this is compared to a friendship or partner situation that is not true or for life, over this example Blood will always be thicker.

I am lucky my partner is my true partner and my close friends are my true friends. These ties are without cracks. i recognize those that may not be classed in this pool, and this is the real difference.

What is the opinion of others?? Post your views and let me see if i am right or wrong, i am strong in my conviction but i am also open to criticism of these views.....what are yours??